I have mentally exhausted myself multiple times since becoming a human.
One time, I worked three jobs for three weeks, between a 6 week stay, volunteering as an English teacher in Tanzania and a 9 month stay in Dublin, where I was doing a study abroad. At times, I felt so anxious that I looked out my bedroom window and strongly envisioned myself running away, so I would lace up my sneakers and go for a jog.
Five months ago, I was bartending, waitressing, barely making ends meet and paying my bills in beer-soaked tips from the bar down the street. I mind-blowingly attracted both a significantly better job situation than I’ve ever had, a mind-blowingly beautiful love, and also lost like 5lbs in this process.
However, yesterday, I was stressed. SO stressed. Like, eat a bowl of ice cream with a pint of vodka poured on top stressed. I actually sat on the curb outside of my job and talked to my boyfriend about the chores impending and work I was doing so he could nurture and send me some of his healthy and down-to-earth mindset.
‘Trust the journey, enjoy the process’, was his advice.
Then, I go to the DMV. And it’s 15 minutes before it closes, and I’m ready to lose my mind. I didn’t bring the necessary paperwork and have to go back today. But I learned what I needed to bring and found it. I got some chores done because I didn’t have to spend so much time at the DMV.
And, on the drive back, I started thinking about what I was so ‘stressed’ about, and why I was ‘worried’, I’ll explain…
I’m worried and stressed about re-registering my dream car which is a Jeep Wrangler, that I barely have a year and was so excited over buying it last summer, I drove anywhere I could just to be in it.
I’m worried because I got a big promotion only four months after being in my current role, so now I have more work to do and want to make sure I do it well.
I’m stressed out about the grass I have to mow and the dump trip I need to make because my mom allows me to live for free in her gorgeous home and that’s all she asks of me to do, and I didn’t have time to do it as I was traveling for work.
I was overly anxious about spending a weekend away this weekend, and figuring out the logistics of how to make a beach getaway in the Hamptons work with my boyfriend.
None of this is stress, I can send you those words. It’s not stressful to drive my dream car, wake up next to my dream man, and get to work in a dream job everyday, while being in close proximity to family and friends I haven’t spent a lot of time with in years.
My perspective shifted after that trip to the DMV, and I felt a healthy full-throttle of energy kick into gear after a mild meltdown this morning while accomplishing one more thing on my to-do list. It doesn’t matter how healthy or unhealthy I am if I can’t control my mind, it’s the one thing we all need more of . And that brief shower of love I felt come from my boyfriend yesterday afternoon and my mom last night made me heal in a way and see the greater picture.
The whole reason I was working hard to get things done around the house is to prove to my mom I am thankful for what she does for me. The reason I am stressed about going away is because I want to spend more quality time with my boyfriend in an environment where we aren’t running around and doing a million productive things all the time, and spend time being on a beach which we both adore. The reason I am worried about my job is because I only want to do well here and excel so I can create the life I want to live for myself and for my future self.
If you reframe the things that bring you anxiety and cause you to stress during the day, you will be much happier, trust me.