A Passion for Planning

When I was younger, I loved to make lists.

I’d make lists for the grocery store, lists of the fitness classes I would take at my college gym, lists of the girls I liked and the ones I didn’t like in middle school, lists of the characteristics which made my heart beat faster about my high school boyfriend, and so on.

I also enjoyed creating aΒ plan. I loved the outcome of reaching a hard-earned goal. I kept it up throughout my college days, loosening the edges a bit, allowing for a nap here and there, yet still accomplishing a lot. I never got stressed. I kept my cool.

Yeah, right.

A part-time internship, part-time job, a full-time course load, a relationship, planning for a volunteer trip to Tanzania and social life; I needed lists to live to juggle all of these things. I kept it up, until I graduated.

Then, the lists were gone.

I started yoga school. We didn’t keep lists. We focused on our breathing. We drank water, we were quiet. We intuitively felt out what to buy at the grocery store based on how our body felt. If I wanted to take a nap, I did. I kept no list.

Less noise, more quiet.

I started a job I didn’t like. Lists re-emerged. Like, what can I do besides this, how much money do I actually need to make to squeak by, what can I sell to move home, what makes me happy, and so on. A list of activities I enjoyed, posted on my fridge, for when I was feeling sad.

“Go for a run, hula hoop in the backyard, write in your journal, call a friend, write a postcard and mail it, paint your nails a bright color, buy stickers and put them places, go for a ride in your jeep with the windows down, splash in a puddle, go to the gym, yoga, eat a mango, etc”

Different kinds of lists, now. Like, thankful for all these blessings in my life, how did I get so much luck and love around me, what did I give up to get where am I, how am I free even though I am stable, lists. Growth, repeating patterns of goodness rather than vibrating lower. Attracting what’s higher in, and allowing it to submerge, in me, and merge, with me.

Nesting, what’s next?! Steps like: applied to 500 hour yoga schools, working on a career, saving towards a house (or an Australian adventure?! nothing is impossible!), waterfalls and hikes every weekend, a Standard Process Purification cleanse to begin anew in June, spending money with intention, teaching yoga. Sharing light, accepting energy, cleansing of old, letting in new. Balancing work, life, with harmony.

List of ways to let go: 1. uncurl your fist.


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