Last time we spoke, I talked about letting go.
I am in such a spot in my current lifestyle, that one year ago today, I wouldn’t have been able to picture it, whatsoever.
Ever since I was small, I’ve liked to make my own money, going so far as to start working at 12 years old, bussing in an Irish restaurant. I didn’t realize then that this chase for money over happiness sometimes wore me out, like, a lot.
I’m the type of person who makes the best out of any situation. I can’t help it, it’s the way I was brought up. So when I was working Memorial Days, July 4th, Christmas Eves and every other holiday known to mankind for a buck, I made the best of it. I put up streamers with my co-workers for New Year’s, guzzling champagne at midnight. I worked overtime on Christmas Eve, waiting on families visiting my small ski mountain in New York from near and far. I made crazy hats for St. Patrick’s Day.
I left a job I absolutely loathed this past November- it wasn’t a good fit. The thing was, throughout this career, I square-pegged into a round-hole this situation, by looking on the bright side. ‘Maybe it’s not the perfect fit, but at least I’ll earn a free Master’s degree.’ ‘Maybe it’s not exactly where I’m going to be in five years, but I’ll make the best of it right now.’ So on and so forth.
The funny part was, I refused to let go of perks like: a free gym membership, bus pass, free higher education, a large bonus, and so on, because I didn’t think the Universe would provide for me. It took all I had to let go of that crummy-for-me job and let love guide my life.
But it did. And I’m so thankful.
I gave up an awesome one-bedroom apartment in a coveted neighborhood in Vermont, and moved in with my mom and sister. I let go of an amazing job at a highly-sought after company, which received hundreds of applications a year, to become a waitress. I sold all of my belongings, and acquired a new peace of mind.
I won’t pretend any of this was easy, because it wasn’t.
Not that I didn’t feel lighter; I did. It’s just that the newness came fast and furiously while the patterns refused to change. I changed my habits, from addictions and late nights, to refusing to give up on myself.
Now that I see myself from a different viewpoint, I freed myself of old limiting beliefs, like, “I have to work 3 jobs or I’ll never have enough money,” to “I work only jobs that serve my soul and trust the Universe to provide me with Abundance.”
I let go of, “I’ll never find a better situation or apartment than this,” to “I trust God to bring the best situations to me for my Highest Good.”
Now, I work as a Community Manager, working in my zone of genius, for an endurance race company, a sport which I hold near and dear to my heart. I travel and blog for a living, and it’s like a dream come true. I am near and dear to my family, reconnecting with old friends, and trying to date.
(I am carefully considering the options on that last one…)
The actuality of it is, to make a change, all you need is the first step. The first step for me was realizing I wasn’t happy, and the second was seeing what was causing my unhappiness.
As Martin Luther King Jr. once wrote, “Faith is taking the first step, even if you can’t see the whole staircase.”
For me, taking that first step: leaving the job, giving up the apartment, letting go of my old ways, and coming home again. Whatever it is, you know you’re capable of it, just let yourself live your own best life, and all will be yours.
For me, now I’m smiling, and I couldn’t feel more free. Sunshine and love to you, sunshiney- readers.