The All of It

Imagine if you’re bored one day at home and scrolling through your timeline, you decide to call every one of your phone contacts in order and have a chat.

What would you say? What would they say back?

We need to be more brave, bold, that’s true. Tell people we love them, even if we’re unsure that they love us back, or they need us to. If your phone was filled with messages of hope and love, what would you see in your life? Would you feel surrounded by hope or by hate, and how would it accentuate or increase your love?

I will do this one day, I am sure. It’s a good idea. For now, I’ll be filled with gratitude for the ordinary gifts in my life, which seem so extraordinary right now. I’ve started a job with an endurance race companyΒ  in Saugerties, NY, doing stuff I love, like blogging, planning PR campaigns, and going to the events. I have love in my life, living with my mom and sister, and work out. I feel complete, whole, although, not fully balanced, but its enough, for me.

It’s love, to give up whats not serving you, to invite in what could be serving you. The night before I started my new job, going through old shoes and hats, finding a ‘Vermont’ hat I bought for a friend’s birthday, and, when we drifted apart, I kept for myself. A ‘Dealer.com’ ski hat, formerly worn with a source of pride, having worked there right out of college, now kept with a source of nostalgia. An old skirt, I wore to an interview to a job I didn’t get. And a ‘grow your own boyfriend’, a stocking-stuffer gag gift from my younger sister.

Giving pieces of an old life away, and clearing dust, made me sense the impending newness of what’s to come. Sadness and joy mixed together in this final episode, my intuition on point as I let go, and it happened so quickly.

The all of it.IMG_2799

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