Being Pulled By the Stars Again

Pain is necessary for growth, right? Suffering is growth, love is pain and pleasure and we’re always in the right place at the right time.

My patience has been exasperated recently- I liked a guy and he didn’t text me back, I had to work hard at two amazing events but sacrifice my social life, I am making a choice to apply to graduate school and have no idea for what. Good things, things that require patience, and the loosening of control, something I am not always great at, but am learning!

Lighting up the sky every night are the stars; why do we never question their inevitable return? We just know and assume that because they’re always there, even when we can’t see them, they’re going to emerge, and brighten our lives again.

Try to see life that way; waiting for a man to call, waiting to meet your life partner or your soul mate, waiting for a family member to heal. We are thinking too hard, a lot, and saying too much, often. Be still. Feel the beating of your heart and the sound of your shoes scraping across the earth. Come down from your cloud that says, I have to be so-so and by 26 or I wouldn’t be happy, and let yourself be happy instead. He or she will come into your life, because I said so! Faithfulness, loyalty and love, come from being faithful, loyal, and loving, everything. There’s time, love, and hope- dressing for fear never got anybody out of bed in the morning.

I said to come out of our shells, we are supposed to grow, like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon. All of the things which are aggravating me so right now, were sent here to make me grow. Are you growing? Don’t stand still, little one.

I keep seeing images of monarch butterflies; the Universe is waiting for me to know what this means. Right now, I sense change, noticeably. I am sure of it. Grades, school and nothing gained if nothing is ventured! Appreciating the silence found between lectures, notes and the calm of my body which is in motion towards a master’s.

Awe is important now, the ways we feel connected to everything in the Universe. The things that are so magnificent, we must gaze after them, lusting in the pure sight of such significant stardust. Antoine De Saint-Exupery said something along the line of, ” Love is two souls gazing outward in the same direction.” If you’re constantly seeking to be awed, you’re gazing towards the magnetic force of joy- who wouldn’t want to be with someone who is gazing towards that?

Arguably, it’s wiser to try to focus, think of the career I’d want for myself in twenty years, then figure out a master’s degree accordingly. What if I want to take painting, and write, and Arabic, and Italian Renaissance art? Or if Argentinian Tango I is calling my name? How do I limit myself the possibility that one of these wonders which my soul is pulling me towards, doesn’t lead me to the stars?

AnaΓ―s Nin β€” ‘I’m restless. Things are calling me away. My hair is being pulled by the stars again.’

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