I’m slowly realizing people aren’t all the same.
Isn’t that silly- only took me 25 years! I am more aware now then ever, that there are folks who think what I value or pride myself on isn’t important, and vice versa. I am learning to be patient with them. I am struggling to be patient with myself.
As I worked out this weekend, for the two hundredth hour of my two hundred hour yoga teacher training, I realized that I pride myself on hard work, diligence, and goals. I’m goal oriented and have been since I was small. I remember playing a game as a small girl, could I run out of my kitchen before the fridge door could close ? (I could!)
Now, as I navigate the tricky waters of dating and friendship in my twenties, I realize what I value is hard for others to fathom. A ‘cest la vie, laughing attitude’ is harder to come by then a ‘serious, all work, no play’ attitude. I recently spoke to a man about traveling, and he said he hadn’t been given opportunities to travel. When I read that text, my eyes watered and I started seeing spots. Opportunities are all around, I thought, if you’re interested in traveling, don’t try and act like you’re not afforded similar opportunities as others.
This aggravated me. I know why. It’s because I know I wasn’t as hard on myself in the past as I am now. Now, when I want to accomplish something, I feel like possibilities are endless, why can’t I accomplish this thing? I think because of how hard I am on myself, I can be hard on others, too. That’s not the case!
Knowing that, being kind is perfectly alright, to myself, and to others. I remember being set up on a blind date once. Again, the subject of travel came up. I laughed when he said, “Oh, for sure, I love to travel- I’m actually going to Detroit this month!” I took it as he wasn’t adventurous. Maybe he was able to see how small trips start the big ones.
All I know is, life’s what you make of it. The reason I was triggered by this man, how I reacted when he said we don’t have opportunities to travel, is because I have to seek out opportunities to travel, when before, in college, they were more plentiful. I realize that his response, in anger, to my response, in bewilderment, could only fuel a fire of hatred, and I did not want to contribute to that.
If you want to travel, save money, volunteer, raise funds, go to Africa, do whatever it takes to get there. Not everyone can afford to quit their jobs and travel the world, but some of us might like to. If you’re craving an adventure, don’t put it off- trust your instincts about it. Notice what’s triggering you; is your happily married with two kids friend’s photos on Facebook or is your friend’s photos of shark swimming in Australia? Pay attention, and cut through that noise, but also be patient with yourself, PLEASE, as you figure it out.
At the end of the day, whether you’re deciding to leave the job, take a train, sell your stuff, or just the opposite, no one created the choice but you. Settle into it, breathe deep, and allow the choice to come.