part of me is dying, so part of me is also growing

I’ve grown up a lot in this past year, even in these past six months.

It took perseverance, strength, determination and letting go of some headaches, hangovers and heartbreaks! I got under my skin. I told myself lies, then, I looked right into my own eyes and spoke their truth. I came undone, a lot. I got a little bit older and wiser, day by day. When’s enough? That’s what I keep thinking.

All this stuff, releasing. Healing, crystals, old wounds, journals, vagabond, travelling, destroying the old and allowing the new. Still, space, creeps in. Hatha Yoga 200 hour teacher certification, it’s my mission to let you know, this personally was the greatest struggle and gift I’ve ever done. It was so hard. It was so worth the hardship. I saw myself strengthen and lengthen, allowing every bow and arrow to gracefully pull back and release.

It took so much upkeep, this whole living, thriving thing. The ease, it wasn’t always there, but it came back. I let it go, then, I allowed it to come back in. The spiritual side of me is continuing on this avenue, path, journey, where my rock is a bedroom in an apartment in a place I’ve come to call home, and my spirit is soaring through dreams over Thailand at night. Awesomely opening up every inch of data about myself; exploring hobbies, thoroughly enjoying what’s coming, and what is now.

Not yet ready to relinquish, but stepping forward. I fear the bell curve; the middle, the average. I stand up to whatever is next, and it rises in me, with me.

How much is anyone supposed to endure? Do you keep growing? Yes. I chant, yes, I charm. I fear no man, and no bubble, except the space in which I cannot flourish. I cannot be alive without intuition, without breath, without placement of hands and feet in downward facing dog. I live for art, music, poetry, school, nature, little girls with ribbons and curls.

I implore you, take it upon yourself to explore your passions. Live life in delicious pursuit, until you’re sunny more often than you are not. Allow the room you’re needing to come, stretch up towards the sky, and bow your head to the earth.

It’s going to be a gorgeous day. You are truly, and seriously, alive, and in bloom.

Magnifique.

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