Loving What You Have and Having What You Want

yes!Simplistic.

A holistic approach to living, a country-side farmhouse, a tiny house on wheels, a chicken coop, a wooden yoga studio in a barn, clothes drying on a line, a woman making pies and leaving them on windowsills.

Serene.

Bouncing from one friend’s house to another. Creating art. Opening your home to strangers. Play-doh. Yoga studios with incense. Tire swinging. Fields of tall grass. Bourbon on ice. Fireflies. Sunsets, firecrackers crackling, meditation. Backpacking.

Holy.

God. Buddha. a bride. an open invitation to travel, or visit. a museum. a sighting, of Big Foot or the Flying Spaghetti Monster, or Jesus on toast.

There’s a lot of different ways to see simplistic, serene and holy things; we’re all guilty of wanting what we can’t have, seeing what we do have and wishing it was different, and not being able to let go just the same.

A few weeks ago, I was in my therapist’s office, and she was closing with a meditative prayer. I felt guided to a calm and trusting place, where I heard a voice inside my head say, ” You can cut off your hair and it will grow back. You can cut off a lizard’s tail and it will grow back. Why do you think if you give sometime up, I will not give it to you in better form?”

If there’s any cause for letting go, this is it. I recently stumbled upon my old blog. It’s crazy-inspiring to read about myself three years ago; I dreamed of yoga school, landing a job in Vermont, and traveling the world. It took some oomph to go through those old blog posts and see dreams I’d forgotten. There’s a quote about this, something along the lines of, ‘Look around. Everything you have was once something that you wanted.’ I feel this strongly today.

We already know what’s going to make us happy, so why make it so complicated. I know it’s there, inside me, peeking out. Asking, ‘is it time yet? to emerge, to blossom, to live out as passionately, wildly, lovingly, and weirdly as possible? are we free from our own hatred and judgement yet, or should we hide another day?”

Waiting isn’t serving anyone. If you’re called to live, life. Love all that’s around you while you’re working towards all that you’re after. You’re going to want to look back on this someday, and remember the way in which your eyes sparkled as you jotted down the impending adventures on which you’d take yourself.

The times when it all made sense are few and far between. There’s only time, and it’s not waiting; like I said, only you know what’s going to make you the happiest, serenest, holiest, loveliest person there ever was. In you becoming more of this, you share more needed peace with all of us, so why not become who you really are, today?

Sigh.

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