Trinity, trust, hope. Jumping off a cliff and plugging your nose on the way down. Holding a sign at the airport, wondering if he’ll show up. Her eyes when you step down on one knee and propose your idea of a sound life. Tubes keeping someone’s grandparent alive. Music, tinkling through a small shop as wind chimes on the door signal the start of a new day. Babies, laughing, crying, being born, crawling, napping, sleeping.
Choosing joy, choosing joy, that’s the magical thing. Sensing the things which will go with your heart’s idea of contentment and happiness, and trusting in that fact. Being on top of the world one minute and down on the floor the next, but the in between was worth the ride, starting again. Being bold, charging forward; charging towards a life well-lived.
Adjusting. Being true to oneself. Being open, meaning, being fresh-eyed, rosy cheeked, if you’ve been hurt or let down, before.
Starting something impactful. Only you know what it looks like- paint it. Spill it on the dishes, charge forward with the tenacity of a bull on fire. Charge into your new, meaningful, creative, future.
What does your life look like, no, really. Sit with me, please. Can you see it, is it twinkling and glowing on the horizon? Freedom, packing it all up and starting a life somewhere else? Forever with someone who is right here, and now? Being a student, again, and again, students researching your theories one day….something?
Breathe. Close your eyes.
Now, open wider. Shred the treadmill. Go for a run outside- will you? The world is waiting, and awaiting your imminent arrival. Is it hard? Good. Is it scary? It should be. Does it look like this?
quit job> lose love> gain 10 lbs? does it feel like this, home>peace>truth>the ultimate happiness?
Do you know what you’ve been looking for? It’s not in a place, or a season, or a toothbrush left over at someone’s apartment.
IT is in you, in all of us.
One at a time- how is your life, is it charging forward and you’re gasping on the sidelines, now’s the time.
There’s thinking, waiting, hoping, wishing, but the product is nill. It’s out. It’s over; it’s so 2012.
Step into the future- the doing. The DOING- the part that makes us grow, that gives us seeds, of wisdom and hope and clarity. A nuance in which your heart lives, each day’s a gift. Where were you being when I asked you to close your eyes? Is it in San Francisco, or your baby’s arms, or in a relative’s home?
Searching for peace, before you find it outside yourself, is silly. Attempt to feel the stillness, sit with the break room breakfasts and big time thinkers, stilling your own beating heart.
Then, charge forward again- such and such a place has no lease or hold on you, grow you. Let it go, you, and come in again.
Beauty, all of this, is sweeter than fiction.