new, new, new.
new job, new money, new mantras. new motivation, new inspiration, new love, new light, new joy & new hope.
new goals. new ambitions. new ways of rising, and thinking.
thinking. thinking, thinking…
what if I fail? That’s the first step. Well, what if I fail, and then I fail again, and I fail some more, and again, sometime, soon, I am whirling around my brain, charging forth with a reckless speed.
Misalignment. My Truth, not heard; dogs chasing tails, starting a fruitless chase, to unhappiness.
When something delicious happens, I search around the dish for the broken glass, the bad seed, the spilled ink. I can’t ever let it be, naturally. Where’s the other shoe, when’s it going to fall on my head?
Why do we deny our own happiness, our own happy-ever-after?
So what if a job you liked once upon a time, even though your instincts told you it wasn’t 100% what you wanted to do, didn’t work out? So what, if that semi-glazed look in your eyes when you’re listening to another bad date story on another date night, with some stranger you met on the internet, isn’t going the way you’ve planned? So what? Those things wouldn’t faze you, not for one instant. No parking space at the gym? Fine. Fight with your spouse? Easy.
Love’s on the rise? Hard. Career you’re enjoying, more and more every day? Harder. Happiness? Insufferable.
We choose misery; we like it. We crave it, even, why’s that? Why do we sit and moan and complain and talk about juice diets and celebrity gossip even though we know, Selena Gomez could care less what we’re doing and food tastes delicious, and you’re really not that fat anyway.
So stop it, cute but no- cut it the fuck out, who do you want to be? Do you want to be some miserable prick, content with being comfortable, because they’ve never really tried, they’ve settled?
No, you don’t – and I won’t let you, but I won’t keep you from self sabotaging yourself, either. Only you can do that.
Get used to things working out, actually. Start expecting them to; you’ve earned it. Why are you here but to thrive? Why would you be put here at all, not to be miserable but to be happy! So let yourself be happy!
Accept. Allow. Rebirth. Growth.
Misery loves company, if you let it, but let that fucker eat alone for once; you’ve had enough.