I feel very whole and happy and peaceful, and loved today.
I feel new commitment to things I once enjoyed doing, like learning the ropes of someone new and making time for my favorite practice of all, yoga. This peaceful feeling as a result of giving up attachment to people, places and situations I knew were holding me back, but was too faithful, or stupid, to admit it sooner.
Without further adieu, I present, 2014: The Year of Rejection.
In 2014, I applied for 2 jobs, in two different states, made it to final interview rounds, without getting either job, which resulted in a sense of panic. The job I was in was no longer serving my spirit, albeit being in a great working environment with incredible people, I felt no longer inspired or happy- I was tired. My body and face felt physically weighted, like I was actually sick from this amazing opportunity for a job I’d worked towards. I didn’t know what I wasn’t seeing; then, I switched to seeing things from a different angle.
I have a habit, when I interview for a job, I leave the interview with notes in my head about what I felt went right and what went wrong. During this Year of Rejection, a lot went wrong, and a lot went right. I’m thankful both of those jobs didn’t work out, because despite the fact they related to my degree, they did not related to ME, who I am personally as well as my spirit.
I wrote and wrote; I needed to get some clarity on what it was I was looking for. I kept a journal, I made meticulous notes of the interviews, the type of work I felt would make me happy, the things that sparked my energy and fueled my internal flame, and so on. I realized that the benefits of both of these roles were pushing me towards applying in the first place, an environment were learning and academia were applauded.
Then, the final piece of my Year of Rejection puzzle, I left a career coaching session one night, feeling completely inspired. Sure enough, that day, I’d freed my heart from the limitations I’d been setting on it all along- you’re not good enough to do X, you’re not trained to do Y, you’ll never make it through school, and so on. I cried and cried, feeling all of the fears and resentments I’d harbored towards myself freed from my soul, and moved on.
Then, I followed my intuition, reached up and grabbed an opportunity that presented itself to work at the College of Medicine, where I’d be in an academic, inspiring and medical environment, and able to continue my personal growth and education.
There’s an idea, we take what we like from every situation and apply it towards the next one. So, for example, as you work through relationships and careers, you find something worth keeping from all situations, you take it and look for it in the next thing. This is personally how I narrowed down a sea of career choices. I wouldn’t have found the right path had I taken one of the wrong ways that presented themselves towards me, even if they had chosen me; it still would’ve felt wrong.
Having had a little experience, starting with the things that make you move, that make you excited, that’s what I’d start tying together, and creating your own list. What environment do you work best in, where do you feel the most recharged and energized, do you like to serve, do you think of work as separate from the rest of your personal life or would you like it more intertwined?
Great to see that it’s coming together, a little bit at a time; I am not there yet, but I am so not where I used to be. One day at a time.