When I was smaller, my parents seemed like best friends to me. When I got older, and they separated, I realized that there is a large, looming difference between friendship and love. This is something that one can witness, firsthand , as one observes two types of relationships:
1. The ‘ We like the Same Stuff’ relationship
2. The ‘ Our Souls Match’ relationship
The motivations behind each are very different, and unique to each person. The first, a relationship classified as one that the individuals or parties involved engage in similar activities, such as kayaking or a love for animals, and this sustains them, through thick and thin. Another thing they may have in common is a wild sense of being together as a team, having a lot in common, or a lot of mutual friends, similar outlooks on life, and the life they want to co-create together. This type or category of friendship evolves into love with an understanding that the people involved are both involved in the creative vision for a life rooted in similarities.
This is not perfect, it is real.
The second type, and far less common, but often life-changing, is the kind of passionate, mirror of the person you really are inside, perfect relationship that shapes our destiny. At the core of this type or category of friendship, relationship, or love, is the perfect, good, and earth-shattering realization that this person is not your friend. The person that holds a mirror up to your soul, reflects it back to you, forcing you to recognize what you are, seemingly out of torture, is a soul mate. A soul mate can be your friend, your lover, your ex, and your challenger. A soul mate is a person that will force you to recognize your failings, and, at your core, this will feel like truth.
The motivation for the first relationship is built out of comfort, and trust, and security, The first relationship is a stepping stone for the second, or maybe the end of the road. What is the second? The second is an earth-shattering realization that in order to live your truth, your truth must be mirrored back to you. Seeing yourself in the eyes of another, who would die for you , show you a new you, one truer and ‘you-er’ than the person you are, is a first look at the person, or spirit, you were before you came here.
When you are ready, your mirror appears. And that’s it.
The mirror is the one you allow to show your reflection, the one that you choose to open up to. What should we do to experience this? We should let go, or think that there is more than a life with commonalities and ‘shoulds’ and ‘should nots’, there is a life filled with ground-breaking realizations about ourselves, not just body and hair, but inner workings.
We are open to that which serves us, and a lot of the time, we are timidly holding on to that which has been useful to us, and is not any more. This is because we are scared, to trust, open up again, and let go. Seeing a person who has let go and had wings to fly all along is truly invigorating. What do you hold, old beliefs about yourself, that are no longer true?
What serves one person, serves only one person, and is different to each. What your soul holds for you is so much more than you would ever be able to dream about. Thankfulness for the life you lead, no regret for the life you have led, and an open heart and an eye turned to wonder, alight your spirit and make it whole.
Whatever sits heavy with you, free it up. Learn to love the self in the mirror, and see past simple imperfections, a road map of a life lived with meaning, and see what you can be.
In this way, we are our own mirror, until our destiny arrives, and our mirror or true soul mates appear.